It is evening now. Julie and I went into town on the island today. We needed more money for food, and decided to make a day of it. It was very hot. There are no cars on Phi Phi Don, so at least it wasn’t smoggy and hot. I bought an anklet to wear, but it broke tonight during dinner. Julie and I walked up through the jungle to a look look out point from which we could see both sides of the main strip of the island. I saw a millipede on the way up. We checked out the beach on the other side after our hike, and we weren’t too impressed. It was overcrowded and loud, and big. We were very thankful that we are staying at our beach.

Tonight after dinner the hotel played the movie ‘The Beach’ which was filmed on Phi Phi Ley, where we are planning to day trip tomorrow. The movie put me in a wierd mood. The theme deals with two big topics; one being the attempt to travel and not do what everyone else does, even though you end up doing just that, and secondly, the concept of our generations idea of paradise, and how to acquire this.

On the first topic, I found myself questioning my goals of travel. I do want to have an experience that is all together my own, however, I do not see how what one does is the ultimate determinant of this. I believe it is up to the individual to use their experience in the seeking of self identification. During this trip thus far, I have discovered new things about me, I am realizing that the magic I want to experience so bad does not really exist, and does not await me on some remote beach with a bunch of hippies. Maybe I am depressed, or just home sick, but currently I wish there were more magic in my travels. Maybe this is only a pipe dream, put on by travel companies and airline companies.

The second concept of paradise is interesting. Most youths and idealists in my day feel that they can create a utopian society as long as they have fun and the right people. This is total bullshit as a society needs generations to acquire the appropriate means to deal with such sociological complexities as death, civil duty, emotional carnage, and governmental hierarchy (checks and balances) in order to assume full functionality.

This was the second time I have seen this film. I got alot more from it the second time; most likely time and place being qa huge determinant.

I am feeling completely mind fucked at the present moment.